About the wonderful and glorious, but completely boring, me

I guess I should tell you people who actually bother to read this a bit more than that short bio on the right. I don't know if you really want to read this, but hey, if you don't you either skip this, or shouldn't be bothered reading my blog in the first place. It's that simple.
So...
I guess I'm just an average teenager. I have people who like me, people who hate me, and people I like to think hate me. I do well enough in school for my parents, and I try hard, which doesn't always help me keep friends. Well, actually, doesn't help at all. I don't like to call myself antisocial but sometimes I just don't want to talk. Often people just don't understand that. Sometimes I just don't want to be bothered hanging out with people, because something always goes wrong. Sometimes I like the safety of hiding in a room with my computer better than risking social suicide. Who wants to risk hurting themselves?

People think I am unbearably shy and quiet when they first meet me. I'm not if you get close to me. I guess it's kind of a defence mechanism. If I don't keep my mouth shut, I invariably manage to say something embarrassing. Like, really embarrassing. People also like to tell me that I'm a pessimist. I am not. I like to think that I am a realist. As a character in a computer game once said, "A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist".

I try to be nice to people, as I know I am very good at hurting them. Not physically, but with words. But sometimes they take what I say the wrong way and get hurt. Or sometimes I let anger get the better of me and regret it immensely when I calm down. I gave up long ago trying to please people, or fit in, but occasionally I do it without realising. I figure that if people can't accept me for who I am, then they aren't worth hanging around. Even if you lie about who you are to them and you become best friends, one day they will find out. Whether you tell them or they find out on their own, they will forget all those fun times you've had together and ditch you. Because those memories won't have been with you. They were with an impostor, a lie that was created to catch their heart.

I like music, and I can play the clarinet and the piano, even though I suck so bad at them. I haven't really got a favourite band/singer/genre, but I don't usually like rap or loud music with lots of screaming. It makes my head hurt. I like drawing, but decided to stop doing art at school because we hardly drew, and I was never good at it anyway. I usually draw just random stuff that pops into my head in pencil, and never decide to totally ruin it by colouring it in. My colouring skills leave a lot to be desired. I do Ballet, much to the horror and shock of all the people in my year that don't know me. I'm not very good at it so I usually stick to playing Badminton, which along with all the rest doesn't exactly raise my popularity meter.

I used to be scared of dogs, but I think I've almost managed to get over it. Instead I am even more scared of spiders, and have a loathing of all other arachnids and insects in general. I have...issues with heights, and refuse to believe that it is an irrational fear. What is irrational about being scared of something that could kill you? The ocean is also kinda scary. Bad experiences as a child.

My friends tell me I don't eat enough, and while I disagree, I have long given up telling them otherwise. I am weird because I don't actually mind school work, just the homework is a bit frustrating. It's good to stop you from getting bored. I speak enough German to maybe last a minute in a talk with a German, but I do enjoy learning the language and I had a great teacher this year. I like playing computer games (-50 popularity points) and do well enough to beat my older brother at them occasionally. I procrastinate so much I am amazed I ever get things finished, and I often finish assignments the night before they are due, much to my parents chagrin. I like books, and I love learning more about history. Unless I already know it, and have been learning the same thing over and over again for years. Needless to say that gets frustrating. I love to write, and have written a few things for fanfiction.net. As with many things in my life, updates are sporadic at best. I don't watch TV much but I do like Doctor Who. Matt Smith is amazing!

I have a boyfriend, and I like him. A lot. Maybe you could say I love him, but whether I do or don't, why would it be your business?
I like my friends. Sometimes we drift. Well, a lot of the time actually, and it's sad. I don't realise till it's too late to fix.
I am a dreamer, and I guess that's all you really need to know.

picture from http://www.flixster.com/photos/matt-smith-fez-13639028
'Doctor Who' belongs to the BBC. No copyright infringement intended.