This shall remain nameless. Deal.

It's been one of those days, but for a week now. One of those days where it feels like the world's out to get you, when really it couldn't care less. One of those days when you just want to cry it out because you're depressed about nothing at all. One of those days where everything gets to you, no matter how small and stupid.

I couldn't work out why I was having it. I mean, sure, I've had them before. Nothing new there. But jeez, a week? Tad bit excessive I thought. Not exactly a great mood to waste your holidays away in. Not that I didn't do anything. Did the usual catching up with friends etc.

Keeping up a smile, some retardedly witty comments though, is tiring. And hard to do.

Then I finally worked out what was wrong. It wasn't the people around me. It wasn't the weather. It wasn't some utterly random event on the other side of the world. It was me.

Plain old boring me.

What a let down. Nothing interesting about that at all. How boring.

So then I decided in my wonderful wisdom, to make a list of why I depress myself. Because that isn't weird or anything. And then I thought, why not show it to the wastes of the Internet, where nobody will ever read it or give a darn about some teenager who, like the stereotypical person of their age, is depressed and will never get anywhere in their life. Well, here it is.

1. Weight. Could lose some of that. Or a lot actually.
2. Having friends that don't actually like you but still pretend they do because they are best friends with your boyfriend and think that they have to look like they like you. If that makes sense.
3. Social awkwardness. One day, I will have social interactions with somebody where I don't act like a retard and make a fool of myself.
4. Fashion sense appropriate for a female. Lets not even go there.
5. Being lethargic constantly. Bad when needing to get things done. Not the same as procrastinating, although I do that too.
6. Complete indecisiveness. I literally hate making choices about what to do with friends etc. If I say I don't mind what we do I actually mean it. I don't care what on Earth we do, as long as we are doing it. Nobody's quite got the hang of that yet.
7. Being paranoid. Good for keeping you alive I hear, bad for letting you trust people.
8. Failing at everything.
9. Not being the prettiest thing out there. Not by a long shot.

I could think up more. I know I could.

But you know what? Nine is a nice number. I'll leave it at that. I'm sure it gives you SOME idea.

well, I suppose I could give you another...

•  Being a realist. Because people always confuse it with pessimism.

There you go. Don't get too excited.

"A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist."  - Ashley Williams, Mass Effect