Damned if you do, damned if you don't

Okay. This should be one of the best days of my life. Which it was. So yeah, this is the first day I have ever gone out with someone, and yet I already feel sad. It isn't his fault. He is amazing (at least to me), but as with many things, there is always something bad to accompany every single decision you make. Decide not to finish your assignment on the weekend so you can hang out with friends, and you end up staying up late the night before it is due finishing it. Drive home whilst drunk, and you could kill yourself. In my case, choose one guy, and you end up screwing up the life of another.

I feel like I'm in one of those old, cheesy, romance novels. Except they don't sound all that cheesy anymore. They actually make a whole lot of sense. Two guys, one girl, and the struggle for her heart. Eventually one is chosen over the other, and the other is...well...lost without her love. I chose one guy over the other, and eventually I'll probably have to pay for it. Karma sucks in that respect.

I'd most likely feel better if I didn't know the other one liked me. That would explain why I feel so bad. Because I knew, and I went ahead anyway. Call me Crusher, because that's what I do. I crush people. I crush their hearts. I crush their hopes. I crush their needs. I crush their everything.

I'm not writing this to get sympathy. I'm not writing this to make myself feel better. I'm writing this so that on the day I look back at this blog and read all these random musings, I remember something important. Something that makes us human.

I want to remember empathy.